How can I tell whether a family member or friend needs help?
It is not always clear whether someone needs help. Sometimes a person will recognize that they need help and request it, or an emergency or sudden illness will make it clear that assistance is needed. But there are often other signs that indicate someone may need extra support.
A phone call, email, or text message is not always the best way to tell whether an older adult needs help handling daily activities. The person might not want to worry you, or they might not want to admit that they’re often too tired or sick to cook a meal or clean up.
When you spend time at the person’s home, you might notice possible trouble spots. Some examples include:
- Is the person taking their medications and going to their medical appointments?
- Can the person prepare meals on a stove safely?
- Are they bathing regularly and wearing appropriate clothing for the weather?
- Is the home relatively clean and free of clutter?
Make sure that any potentially dangerous situations are addressed as soon as possible.
In addition to safety issues and the overall condition of the home, the person’s mood and general health could indicate a need for help. Sometimes depression in older people is confused with normal aging. A depressed older person might brighten up for a phone call or short visit, but it’s harder to hide serious mood problems during an extended visit.
Other signs relate to the person’s general health. These include whether they have gained or lost significant weight, have poor hygiene, seem confused, have fallen, seem lonely or isolated, or have trouble walking. Seek help right away if the person says they feel hopeless or have no reason to live, if they’ve lost interest in things they previously enjoyed, or if you’re worried, they may harm themselves.
With the older adult’s permission, it can be helpful to check in with others who see them regularly — such as neighbors, friends, doctors, or relatives — and ask these people to call you if they have any concerns.
Excerpt taken from The Caregiver’s Handbook National Institute on Aging
